Judging Others? 3 reasons why judgement is a positive thing!

Monday 12th Aug 2024

As humans, can we ever be free from judgement?

It takes a very enlightened master to be completely non-judgemental in this world. I know I certainly haven't mastered it! I have the same judgements as others- the same personal sense of moral ethics and appropriate values - What I see as 'good',' acceptable', 'bad or 'non acceptable'.

I try my best to be non judgemental though because I really struggle with the vibe of it! I practice listening carefully and respecting other peoples points of view, even if they don’t resonate with my own.

A famous channeler, Paul Selig, said, "You cant stand in the light when you hold another in darkness". When I judge other people’s actions as bad or unacceptable or inappropriate, I feel that wave of -ve energy (that darkness) encompass me. Every judgement I make towards others boomerangs back to me and I feel the weight of it. I put myself in darkness

Think about it- have you ever judged someone negatively and felt awful afterwards?

But here’s the thing, every now and then I get caught up in a conversation or a situation that really gets my injustice emotion buttons fired up. And so I then find myself in judgement mode again..

Judgement is one of those qualities that us spiritual seekers try to avoid! It carries a shameful edge to it. Like anger or envy. I certainly feel a level of anxiety around it, mostly because it doesnt feel like a loving or forgiving space to be in.

Yet, in some cases, I believe that judgement is a kind messenger. There are 3 messages that I feel it delivers:

Just like our amygdala keeps us safe from danger when it functions at a 'normal' level, our judgement centre also helps us to make discerning choices that keep us safe. For example, if we know someone is telling us a pack of lies, our judgement helps us to know that this person isn’t the most reliable or trustworthy person ever. We can’t guarantee our 'safety' with them. So the judgement quality helps us to decide how we deal with that person in the future. It makes us more discerning. We don’t necessarily have to bin them off, but we do get to see the truth more clearly
Secondly, judgement acts as a messenger, or reminder, for us to protect other people that cannot protect themselves. What about that vulnerable person you know who's being bullied? What about the person who's being ganged-up on? The child who's being mistreated? The elderly person being abused? Here, our judgement reminds us to protect those people because ignoring the situation would mean neglecting or abandoning that person, which is very inhumane and discompassionate. This is actually where judgement has reared its head for me lately'- in defending and protecting someone who was being unfairly treated.. In cases like this, claiming a spiritual higher ground and doing nothing would have meant I was abandoning them and their call or help. I had a responsibility to help them. My challenge was in doing so compassionately, mindfully and with integrity. And I tried my best to do that, with all parties.
And the third and final message that I believe our judgement brings us is one of reflection. It’s my responsibility and actually my desire for spiritual growth that causes me to hold the minor of reflection up to myself and ask "in judging this person, what am I judging in me?" If I am judging this person for being unkind or immoral, perhaps I'm also reminded of all of the times I've been unkind or immoral. You can only see in others what you see in yourself and more often than not, the things we judge as 'bad' in others are a reflection of things we can’t accept about ourselves. My responsibility therefore is to reflect deeply on this- to search my shadow for what is coming to light. When I notice that I too have been unkind or immoral at times, I suddenly find a common ground with the person I'm judging- I see myself within them and realise that we all are infact, as one. This realisation helps me to come full circle and lean into a compassionate forgiveness. Where there was once judgement, a new softer energy of understanding and compassion comes in because I have experienced the same emotions as the person I am judging. Forgiveness for them, for myself, and for the situation helps to take them out of the darkness and place them into the light, where I can join them.

Just as “you cant stand in the light when you hold another in darkness", it becomes clear that "You can stand in the light when you hold the other in lightness"